The usual cramped, precise handwriting in its carefully lettered draenic runes is noticeably loose and blocky instead. It looks like a child's handwriting, awkwardly done with many mistakes and a lot of ink blotting the parchment; the entry apparently took some time to pen everything out. Even influenced, however, it's evident his compulsion to keep things tidy and neat leaks through. Every word written poorly or mispelled is scribbled out and fixed, although it is unclear if all of the editing was done during, later, or both.
Mastrevneven though he arrangdarranged again all the stock in the bar leiklike always. I wish he would Not do that. It changes evryeverything adnand change is Difficult. Same is Good.
We talked, so much. My jaw achesform from it but there is no blodblood so it was not Too Much leiklike soemtiemssometimes.
He got medrinkdrunk. I tried Saying No but I think that I leiklike my frndfrondfrend him more than my soberatysobriety because I did not use tethe Real No where I mean it. I do not leiklike using that. No is hardly evrever Good.
I do notnot remember a lot of what he said, but I will Try because wenwhen MastrMaster Ryutan talks it is always Important adn and listening to it is jsut just as Immportant. Important.
So heask (^asked) adnand I toktaketickuntyed(^untied) off my mask adnand drank with him because I am his frondfrend(word here I like him) adnand he asked. WiskeyWhiskey tastes terrible. I had trubl troublhard teimtime counting aftrafter five shots. ThreThere wrwere lotted lots many more aftrafter these. He say next timesaid that th next the next teimtime we will havhavedrunkdrink bourbon but I do not leiklike bourbon, eithreither. I remembrremember drankdrinking much of it with MastrMaster Merosiel. It tastytastrtasted terrible, too.
I do notleiklike to drunkdrink. It always drabblsdribblsleaks out of my mouth when I drunkdrink adnand this is a Bad Thing I do not leiklike wenwhen having othrother people watch that. No one needs to watch that. It is digustigdisgustiga Bad Thing adnand ugly.
He left meaftrafter the drunkingdrinking. Oh, I am Very Late. No More Writing.
A second entry follows, most likely added much later. His usual cramped penmanship has returned in all its rigid meter and lack of errors.
I was Very Late arriving to the dock, and missed the boat out to the base. I am in Stormwind while on this Unoffical leave. Also, I am struggling with the most terrible headache. It is not Too Bad, I suppose, just bad. Especially compared to the last time and Master Merosiel's binge with bourbon. It is nowhere near the pain of Too Many feelings in me at once from all around me, either. This is nothing like having to Work, or being in a crowd, so I will be content with this. It is my own doing, and there can be no blame to Master Ryutan for it.
We talked about Art and who might run the Golden Dawn if there continues to be a lack of its Mistress. He said I should. I disagree, and I tried to Explain but it came out as excuses and I do not think that he was convinced. Still, it was Not Nice, what he said about Lady Spennig. He can be really crude. Is this a Human Thing, a Dead Thing, or an Everyone But Me Thing? Iatrios is like this, so I wonder. There is no one to ask; there never is.
He showed me How To Drink But Not Drink and I did not get that, either. It was an interesting trick, though, even if it was lying. He calls it misdirection, but slight of hand is a lie, tricks are a lie. Goading or coaxing someone to believe a False Thing because they See It seems so Bad. He assured me otherwise, but I am uncertain on this, as well. From Art and Misdirection and Business we talked of Logic and Abstraction.
After asking why I prefer logical thinking to his philosophy or art, he then said that I would make a Good Artistic Type. I did not agree with this, either, or understand his thinking very well. I think it was meant as a compliment. I hope so. I like when he compliments me. He did call me an Idiot several minutes later, however. Master Ryutan dislikes that I only learn my trades and Work and work. He says I am not seeking to better myself, not trying to be a better person. When he said that I would be a Better Father if I tried to better myself, I asked him how, and then he had me drink A Lot. I do not get how consuming so much whiskey bettered me as a person.
I did learn that Logic is overused. There was a clever analogy about shields, but I cannot recall his exact phrasing. This is Sad. He is Very Clever even though he is Dead and I should like to keep in my head all the things he says to me, Good and Bad.
Like how he says I am afraid to feel. This is truth, but I think he means it differently than what the Truth is. I tried to Explain: free reign of my ability is not an Option or even an option. He said--I remember this, why can I not remember the shield analogy?--that I must Compromise. This Emotional Chasm is not an Option, because I will be a father and I cannot be One Half of a person any longer.
I think that I would go mad if I tried to let everyone Inside all the time. He says this is a part of Life and I should be living. I am alive. That made little sense, too.
He left me after this, drunk and confused with no one to ask these things. I have no concept of how I made it either to the docks or to Stormwind, but here I am. Unofficial leave is as Bad as getting drunk. Captain Oscella will be so Disappointed in me for not showing.
Mastr
We talked, so much. My jaw aches
He got me
I do not
So he
I do not
He left me
A second entry follows, most likely added much later. His usual cramped penmanship has returned in all its rigid meter and lack of errors.
I was Very Late arriving to the dock, and missed the boat out to the base. I am in Stormwind while on this Unoffical leave. Also, I am struggling with the most terrible headache. It is not Too Bad, I suppose, just bad. Especially compared to the last time and Master Merosiel's binge with bourbon. It is nowhere near the pain of Too Many feelings in me at once from all around me, either. This is nothing like having to Work, or being in a crowd, so I will be content with this. It is my own doing, and there can be no blame to Master Ryutan for it.
We talked about Art and who might run the Golden Dawn if there continues to be a lack of its Mistress. He said I should. I disagree, and I tried to Explain but it came out as excuses and I do not think that he was convinced. Still, it was Not Nice, what he said about Lady Spennig. He can be really crude. Is this a Human Thing, a Dead Thing, or an Everyone But Me Thing? Iatrios is like this, so I wonder. There is no one to ask; there never is.
He showed me How To Drink But Not Drink and I did not get that, either. It was an interesting trick, though, even if it was lying. He calls it misdirection, but slight of hand is a lie, tricks are a lie. Goading or coaxing someone to believe a False Thing because they See It seems so Bad. He assured me otherwise, but I am uncertain on this, as well. From Art and Misdirection and Business we talked of Logic and Abstraction.
After asking why I prefer logical thinking to his philosophy or art, he then said that I would make a Good Artistic Type. I did not agree with this, either, or understand his thinking very well. I think it was meant as a compliment. I hope so. I like when he compliments me. He did call me an Idiot several minutes later, however. Master Ryutan dislikes that I only learn my trades and Work and work. He says I am not seeking to better myself, not trying to be a better person. When he said that I would be a Better Father if I tried to better myself, I asked him how, and then he had me drink A Lot. I do not get how consuming so much whiskey bettered me as a person.
I did learn that Logic is overused. There was a clever analogy about shields, but I cannot recall his exact phrasing. This is Sad. He is Very Clever even though he is Dead and I should like to keep in my head all the things he says to me, Good and Bad.
Like how he says I am afraid to feel. This is truth, but I think he means it differently than what the Truth is. I tried to Explain: free reign of my ability is not an Option or even an option. He said--I remember this, why can I not remember the shield analogy?--that I must Compromise. This Emotional Chasm is not an Option, because I will be a father and I cannot be One Half of a person any longer.
I think that I would go mad if I tried to let everyone Inside all the time. He says this is a part of Life and I should be living. I am alive. That made little sense, too.
He left me after this, drunk and confused with no one to ask these things. I have no concept of how I made it either to the docks or to Stormwind, but here I am. Unofficial leave is as Bad as getting drunk. Captain Oscella will be so Disappointed in me for not showing.
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